Tuesday, August 4, 2009

8/4 Spending the night

Spent the night with Chuck sometimes in his bed, sometimes on a chaise lounge cushion on the floor with a sheet and blanket. He is quite present in his body and wants to pull hardware out of himself, which is why I stayed all night. It was wonderful to have his arms around me and to be able to lavish him with familiar touch and talk. Pearl is right: the parts of me that were traumatized by Chuck's injury come back to life, one by one, always accompanied by fresh tears of grief and gratitude. Several times yesterday, at his physical initiation, we sat up at the side of the bed or he lay backwards on me and allowed me to stretch his arms and shoulders. It was in most ways an excellent evening.

The most pressing problem for us now is going to be my stamina. I don't have a solution yet, except that I'm simply going to bed now.

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